Highland Heights Ohio Patrolman Mark Joseph News & Screws
  McKee Retirement

We are PLEASED to announce the retirement of our favorite horse-toothed jackass

Pleae join us in this wonderful celebration on April Fool's Day, 2011 where Gary will perform the fnal sucking of Jimmys midget cock.  PATROLMAN Joseph will then lap up the smegma as the ceremonial start of the testing to become a Sergeant once again.  Final smegmal cleanup will be performed by Karl Manzer using Mr. Chicken wet wipes from the hundreds of unsold ShitKits rotting in his basement after first demonstrating the cleanup technique on Manzer himself.

Festivities Will Also Include:

Musical Phones
While music is playing, guests will parade around a desk containing a number of telephones equal to the number of guests.   When the music stops, guests will answer the nearest phone, saying "Hello, traffic bureau"!  One guest will be unable to answer because the handset is glued into it's cradle. That person will be eliminated and the game will continue until one person is left.

Cop Car Copulation
A series of police cars will be arranged behind Whitey Company on Bishop Road.  The cars will be rocking back and forth in various manners.  Participants are to guess which car resembles a patrolman fucking a civilian in that car.  The guest that first finds the car containing Gary McKee on top of a civilian is the winner.

Double Dip-A-Chip
Everyone will observe Gary McKee throughout the evening as he snacks on chips.  Gary will try to conceal the fact that he dips a chip, bites it, then dips it again.  The first person to spot Gary doing this and point out that Gary has been  double-dipping will be the winner.

Polaroid Pig
A drunken female stripper arrestee will be brought into the room.  As she begins to remove her clothes and show off the goods, participants will grab a city owned polaroid camera and snap as many nude photographs as the instant camera will allow.  The photos will then be shared with Timmy Pitts whom will judge the photos based on content, clarity and smuttiness and choose a winner. 

These are just a few of the many activities planned for the evening.  Come early to get a good seat!

Prizes will be provided by Sit On Sissy's Schnoz (S.O.S.S) and will include off-brand bandaids, restaurant wet wipes, and dime store flashlights.

Let's not let this outstanding officer go unrecognized.
Please use the form below to share your favorite memories of Gary McKee.

The last comments on this page:
Comment posted by Emmett tobin, 10/16/2011 at 10:21pm (UTC):
Hit me up if u want to do things 4407737956

Comment posted by Karl Manzer, 04/22/2011 at 7:31pm (UTC):
Mr. Borally, Thanks for using the shitkit that fits for cleaning up the men's room at Borally's after the retirement party.

Comment posted by MJ, 04/22/2011 at 3:33am (UTC):
pick me! pick ME!

Comment posted by Mayor Coalman, 04/22/2011 at 2:53am (UTC):
Come back Dicksucktive McKee, you still haven't figured out who is making this website :-

Comment posted by Rome Seagul, 04/03/2011 at 3:16pm (UTC):
Nice to see Fairy McKee again. Sorry I couldn't get it past my lips;your Infantile Penis Syndrome has always been a problem which is probably why you became a cop

Comment posted by Karl MANzer, 04/03/2011 at 3:52am (UTC):
Albert, just use one of my cleanup kits......that's why we call them SHIT kits

Comment posted by Gary Chmilieski, 04/02/2011 at 6:21pm (UTC):
Hi Albert it should be pretty easy to figure out because only 5 people showed up.....and Gary it was nice to hit your (former) twink ass one last time in the stall

Comment posted by Albert Borally, 04/02/2011 at 3:53pm (UTC):
I'm really disapointed in the behavior of the guests last night. I have to pay extra for someone to clean the gizz and fecal matter off the men's room floor. We are reviewing security footage now.

Comment posted by now up for bids, 03/23/2011 at 2:50am (UTC):
great opportunity to sell used cars from safety of PD station lot, use of computer to research purchases and sell others' items on ebay...

Comment posted by Mayfield Nigga, 03/18/2011 at 2:51am (UTC):

Comment posted by Lori Gurloskey, 03/18/2011 at 2:21am (UTC):
Hey guys after I get a few drinks in me I'll be back by the dumpster giving free handies

Comment posted by MHPD Insider, 03/16/2011 at 1:50am (UTC):
Gary Mckee was clocked doing 103MPH on IR 271 in a Honda, to be exact. NEWSPAPERS PLEASE INVESTIGATE THIS GUY!!!

Comment posted by MHPD, 03/16/2011 at 12:59am (UTC):
Don't worry McKee. We won't be running radar on 271 that night so you can AGAIN drive over 100 mph off duty and get away with it.

Comment posted by Det. Dowdell, 03/15/2011 at 4:31am (UTC):
I will be guarding the parking lot to shoot randomly at running negros.

Comment posted by Peter Joseph, 03/15/2011 at 2:38am (UTC):
I'll be posting everything on my facebook page in the Scott Divoky album

Comment posted by Nora Joseph, 03/14/2011 at 6:41pm (UTC):
I will be at the deserts table dispansing milk from my floppy teets.

Comment posted by Lisa from the Front Row, 03/13/2011 at 9:29pm (UTC):
Oooooooh Gary you are in for a wonderful treat of midget smegma if you can just hold out before PATROLMAN Joseph gets his turn

Comment posted by The Wolfman, 03/10/2011 at 4:24am (UTC):
I'm going to show up and tell the story about how I saw you FUCKING in a police car behind Whitey Company on Bishop Road

Comment posted by Roberto A. Villasenor, 03/05/2011 at 4:10pm (UTC):
We want you back! Your crimes pale in comparison to the shit the guys pull down here!

Comment posted by Ohio Bell, 03/05/2011 at 4:04pm (UTC):
We'll be there to present you with a trophy

Comment posted by Yazeed Essa, 03/05/2011 at 2:15am (UTC):
I'll bring the hangover pills

Comment posted by Karl MANzer, 03/05/2011 at 2:02am (UTC):
I'm gonna set up a table in the lobby to sell flannel shirts, cancer insurance and SHITkits

Comment posted by Gina McKee, 03/04/2011 at 9:02pm (UTC):
I'm popping out of a cake with a creampie at your party.

Comment posted by Angel from The Den, 03/03/2011 at 3:31am (UTC):
I will definitely be there! I want to strip for you again Mckee

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