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Carol Ganser does a radio show about fitness and weight loss.  Scissoring too.

Carol Ganser also washes cars to offset "her" losses from selling shitkits and cancer insurance

Sign up for a free makeover at WELW!

Carol Ganser was afraid of a dildo (yes, this is a female, we think).
"She" is also on WELW radio as Allan Parrish

Listen to it psychobabble at http://www.ustream.tv/channel/good-afternoon-magazine---tuesday-butterfly-effect

Hung Jury In Vibrator Case 
Penis-Shaped Device Causes Fear In Carol Ganser!

Note: The following is is an EXACT, unedited story that ran in The Plain Dealer.  This is NOT a joke.


Jury divided on stalking case

Policewoman received letters




LYNDHURST-A jury in Lyndhurst Municipal Court was unable to reach a verdict last night on whether a former East Cleveland policewoman stalked a Highland Heights policewoman.

Dana LaRiche, 26, who now lives in New York state, was charged with menacing by stalking, a first-degree misdemeanor.

After hearing two days of testimony and deliberating more than six hours, the jury told Lyndhurst Municipal Judge Robert J. Grogan that the five-man three-woman jury could not come to a decision in the case.

“We seem unable to resolve our differences,” the foreman told the judge at 8:35 p.m. Grogan dismissed the jury and said it would be up to the Highland Heights prosecutor to determine if a new trial is held.

LaRiche had been accused of sending sexually explicit letters and a sexual vibrator to Carol A. Ganser, 39, a Highland Heights policewoman. The letters were sent to her in care of the Highland Heights Police Department earlier this year. They were never signed. Some contained sexual remarks on the envelope.

In closing arguments, Highland Heights prosecutor L. James Juliano Jr. told the jury that Lariche's conduct caused Ganser to fear for her safety. “She wanted carol Ganser to squirm,” said Juliano.

Defense lawyer William P. Bobulsky told the jury that nothing LaRiche sent Ganser constituted physical harm.

“There was no threat of physical harm in those communications,” he said.

LaRiche and Ganser met while attending police training at Lakeland Community College in 1991. Ganser, a former Euclid police dispatcher, had sent a letter to the department officials critical of LaRiche at a time LaRiche was trying to get on that city's police department, according to court testimony.

LaRiche retaliated by sending Ganser six letters during the first four months of this year, according to prosecutors.

LaRiche worked as a full time policewoman in East Cleveland until April. She served as an auxiliary policewoman in East Cleveland until two weeks ago.

After the trial, LaRiche said “I've done nothing wrong. I've been the victim. I've been set up. They used Carol to get me. I was arrested the same week I filed an equal Employment Opportunity complaint against the city of Euclid.”

But Ganser said “the proof was there. Myself, my family were in fear. My whole life is changed because of this.

The transition of Marshall Manzer-From YMCA singer to YMCA administrator

Father Ganser Window Erected
By Rusty Tromboni, Staph Reporter
In honor of his tireless efforts to recruit young men into the priesthood, St. Paschal church in Highland Heights has erected a stained glass window depicting Father Ganser.  "I am very pleased with this erection" said father Ganser.  "It will send a message to all young men that 'it's okay' and you are not alone".  Father Ganser's father De-Wayne and his father Carol were gushing with pride and joy.  "We are extremely proud of our son and Father" the Fathers fathers said, "And we will be putting a shitkit in the collection plate next Sunday to show just how much we appreciate this".  Can't you just give them the 3 bucks instead?

Upper Frame: Father Ganser, Right, Is Shown Administering The Oral Exam For The Priesthood
Lower Frame: Father Ganser Kills A Rabbit In Front Of  Children To Ensure Their Silence

Photo Courtesy Bill "Dollar Bill" Gresham

Lenten Special-Father Ganser Picture
By Rusty Tromboni, Staph Reporter
Cell phones are everywhere.  And they take pictures.  While taking a stroll through the rectory at Highland Height's St. Paschals church, a visitor made a wrong turn and got a ittle lost.  When he found an open door labeled "Father Ganser", he thought he would be able get some help.  He found more than just the front door open, the back door was wide open too. 

Does the ShitKit contain condoms and lube?

A Barely Legal Priest Recruit Awaits Father Ganser In The Rectumry At St. Paschals
Photo Courtesy Bill "Dollar Bill" Gresham

Former Highland Heights police officer starts business as a 'safety and prevention coach'

By Jeff Piorkowski & Rusty Tromboni

A former Highland Heights police officer, Carol Ganser, shown in her basement office, is still in the business of protecting the public.
Carol Ganser, unlike a lot of people, has found her niche in life.

“I like to see myself as a safety and prevention coach,” said Ganser, a former Highland Heights police officer, professional soccer player, and a resident of that city.

In that coaching role, Ganser, along with her husband, Duane, and daughter, Dawn, began operation of a company geared toward Ganser’s specialty.

Carol Ganser, Right, Playing Professional Soccer

The company is called Safety on Scene Systems and, since its inception last year, it has sought to earn its way by providing a variety of safety and survival kits.

In speaking with her, one finds Carol Ganser is an enthusiastic person who is enthusiastic about her business.

For example, when asked about the merchandise she sells, Ganser eagerly picked up a black carrying case and said, “This is my pride and joy.”  "A cunt like me should be waxing furniture and doing the dishes" said manzer.

It is a survival kit she devised that is geared towards the average motorist. Packed inside are a food bar and portable water package, each in the amount necessary to sustain a human being for 24 hours; an emergency survival blanket; bandages and more, including what Ganser referred to as “my baby.”

Her baby would be the PowerFlare, a portable light that comes in the size of a hockey puck and can be seen at a distance of 1,000 feet in daylight, and 3,000 feet at night.

“If you’re ever stranded in a car, put this on your car, and you’ll be seen,” she said.

Her company is one of only two area distributors of the PowerFlare.

Carol Ganser Kicks The Winning Point During Cleveland's Rainbow Games

Stranded couple source of inspiration

Ganser said she got the idea for the survival kit after reading about the Nevada couple who was stranded three days in snow in the high desert of eastern Oregon last year. The couple, following GPS directions, was lead down a remote road and, eventually, their four-wheel drive Toyota Sequoia got stuck in snow.

“If they had one of these,” she said of the PowerFlare, “they could have been rescued a lot sooner.” She knows, she used to be a cop after all and cops know everything.

As a police officer, Ganser said there were several times when cars would become disabled along Interstate 271.

The Gansers’ latest product is this motorists’ survival kit. It contains items, such as water and food, that can sustain a person stuck in their car for up to 24 hours.
“We’d have to get out of our cars and look for (the drivers) because they had left their cars,” she said. "It was horrible.  271 is surrounded by homes and businesses no more than a 5 minute walk in any direction.  I can't even walk my fat flabby kneed ass that long, so why should they?" “Sometimes, their cars would slide down the embankment (running alongside the freeway) and I would find PATROLMAN Joseph sucking the penises of the children left behind.”

She said people are instructed to have items like a shovel and kitty litter, for traction, in the trunk, but she added, “if you’re stuck inside your car, what good is something in the trunk going to do you? You need those (trunk) things, but you need (the survival kit) for inside the car.”

The shitkit sells for $99.95, but is on sale, until March 1, for $89.95 Canadian. It consists of mostly American-made items, including the bag itself.

The PowerFlare is available either within the survival kit or outside it. Alone, the lights, which come in yellow, orange and pink, sell for $59.95.

‘Officer Earl’ guided her down career path

Ganser served on the HHPD from 1991-2006, after having served about a year as a police dispatcher in Euclid. She was the first female officer to patrol the streets in Highland Heights, but also served as the department’s instructor for the school’s Safety Town program and was a DARE officer in schools for nine years. She was hired with a known disability, bad knees, but her 3 ways with Cook and Baumgart in which they would all jack each other off was a big plus.  "They totally ignored the flabby pouches on my knees" said Manzer, "I just covered them up with those stretchy-type knee braces".

Carol Gansers Flabby Knee

Before entering police work, she operated a psychiatric office at St. Luke’s Medical Building from 1980-89.

Ganser said she was first inspired to become a police officer, a dream she didn’t achieve until her late 30s, by watching a man she knew as “Officer Earl” while growing up in East Cleveland.

“He was a police officer in East Cleveland who would do radar down my street and I would sit there with him. My mother would have me get water for him. I think she was hoping he would abduct me and take me off her hands, but I could tell that he wouldn't want me because he was into girls. He was just a real nice guy.”

Officer Earl would probably be proud as Ganser can now say, “Most of my career has been spent trying to educate the public to be safe and to not become a victim.”

Gansers offer the shitkit that fits

When it came time to start a new career, Ganser and business partner Kathy Roach started Safety on Scene Systems in the basement of a home the Gansers own on Highland Road, across from their residence. The business is in the former home of Highland Heights’ first fire chief Frank Strumbly, built on three acres in 1943.

The Ganser Brothers Pose With Their ShitKit

Together, they develop and sell such products as this emergency kit designed for law enforcement personnel. With daughter, Dawn, 30, doing bookkeeping, taking phone orders and other as-needed chores, and husband, Duane, serving as maintenance man and all- around handyman, the business has begun to make strides.

“We can sell everything a la carte,” Ganser said of the many pieces of safety equipment on hand in the basement, several of them taking up a room in the basement and packaged as kits.

With Hillcrest Hospital emergency room physician and military man Dr. Donald Spaner serving as her medical advisor on all kits, Ganser said, “We can put together a kit for any need. For sports teams, fitness facilities, whoever, and Don Spaner is my adviser who tells me what is needed in the kits.”

Ganser said her company also works with law enforcement agencies and, to that end, she has created a kit that unfolds several feet containing items an officer might need.

There is also a special kit for hunters, and an electronic information device that takes someone through the entire necessary procedures, via spoken word, when caring for someone who has had a heart attack, stroke or other medical emergency.

In other words, you name the emergency, and Ganser has the kit that fits.

What else would you expect from a safety and prevention coach?

From L to R: Mama Dyke, Papa Dyke, And Baby Dyke
photo courtesy of peter joseph

City Workers Install A Poster At Cleveland's "Softball  And Safety Supplies" Celebration In Voinovich Park.
photo courtesy of peter joseph

From L to R: Mama Dyke, Papa Dyke, And Baby Dyke
photo courtesy of peter joseph

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Comment posted by Bombgart, 04/10/2015 at 11:54pm (UTC):
I luv those flabby knees ang great BJ's she is stealing taxpayer money with my authorization;-) I will give her anything she wants with that big mouth.

Comment posted by LMAO, 03/27/2015 at 1:21am (UTC):
Manzer is the biggest POS loser around. Scamming for workmans comp & lying about being a financial advisor which is punishable by law, OH WAIT, shes fucking Chief Baumgart so she can do whatever she wants!

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Comment posted by Bozo Big Boobs Bruce Bozoano, 09/12/2013 at 4:18pm (UTC):
I kiss carol Manzer's ass every chance I get to help her rob the HH residents of their hard earned tax money as she is scamming disability benefits from them.

Comment posted by Wayne C. Baumgart, 09/11/2013 at 10:21pm (UTC):
I am Carol Manzer's best butt buddy and the chief of Kirtland. I used to fuck Manzer when we worked together in Euclid. FYI, she tells everybody she is a financial advisor, but she is lying and does not have the license to sell financial products as she claims. I will look the other way and allow manzer to break the laws since he/she allows me to fuck him/her.

Comment posted by Karl MANzer, 03/31/2013 at 11:16pm (UTC):
It's easter! Come over for some warm hammy-knees and cancer insurance

mark joseph sucked off an auxiliary police officer in the city park on midnight shift

Comment posted by Father MANzer, 02/17/2013 at 6:55pm (UTC):
Thank you PATROLMAN Joseph for providing the young Revati Wellness boys for last weeks ASS Wednesday mASS!

Comment posted by Midland City, AL PD, 02/06/2013 at 7:26am (UTC):
Karl Manzer. We are sorry for the loss you have suffered at the death of Jimmy Lee DYKES.

Comment posted by Marcs and Big Lots, 12/26/2012 at 12:13am (UTC):
How's business MANzer? You mean you couldn't make it selling bandaids and q-tips out of your basement? What's next, a lemonAIDS stand? You are a JOKE and a scammer, scamming our retirement system you FAT PIG!!!

Comment posted by Father Pat O'Phelia, 11/16/2012 at 1:28am (UTC):
Hello there Karl Manzer...can you stop by the homeless kitchen this Thanksgiving? We may run short (no offense, Jimmy) on food and we would like to use your HAMMY knees!

Comment posted by Father ManzerMisny, 05/31/2012 at 11:30pm (UTC):
Got kids? Call me. You know what I do. I'll...make...them...GAY!

Comment posted by Reverend Mark Griggs, 05/27/2012 at 3:49pm (UTC):
Father Manzer, thank you for the altar boi candidate pics. You will have to send them to my new address now

Comment posted by Thomas Morledge, Revati Wellness Center, 05/27/2012 at 5:16am (UTC):
Can I be a guest on your radio show, WHAT DYKES WANT? We can scam lots of new victims....errrhhhh GET LOTS OF NEW CUSTOMERS together that way.

Comment posted by The DYKECO DILDO, 05/17/2012 at 2:12am (UTC):
I'm learnin' to speak like a dyke. Hey, nice flannel. I like eatin' pussy. Da bearz.

Comment posted by Old Macdonald, 04/24/2012 at 3:42am (UTC):
And on this farm he had a dyke. DILDO-DILDO-OH. With a shitkit here, and some cancer insurance there, a professionals in partnership with parents here, and a scam radio show there. DILDO-DILDO-OH.

Comment posted by Jamie Badanish, Lake County Juvenile, 04/23/2012 at 10:56pm (UTC):
Karl Manzer, You can mail me a vibrator ANYTIME!

Comment posted by Ray Kroc, 04/04/2012 at 7:49pm (UTC):
Hello Mr. Scamser,
I heard you talking about meat and pink slime on your radio show, WHAT DYLES WANT! I'm glad to hear that you wash your meat before you eat it.

Comment posted by Edward Avery, 03/23/2012 at 2:16am (UTC):
Helolw Father Manzer. Do you you want to play communion in my rectory?

Comment posted by Renee Richards, 03/15/2012 at 9:47pm (UTC):
You are what you eat...THAT MAKES YOU A NASTY CUNT!

Comment posted by Trooper Tiffany Wilson, 02/23/2012 at 12:42am (UTC):
It was nice having drinks at your party Ms. Manzer but I had to make a quick getaway when I saw what's in your pants....you never said it was a SAUSAGE party

Comment posted by Mark Spitz...Joseph swallows, 02/15/2012 at 1:13am (UTC):
knock knock
whos dere?
duane ganser?
no, duane the tub, whitneys drownin

Comment posted by Laura Belcastro, 02/01/2012 at 11:02pm (UTC):
Hello Karl Scamser. Nobody knows WHAT DYKES WANT better than you and I. Can I be a guest on your next show to talk about the proper way to eat snatch?

Comment posted by Your Listener, 01/31/2012 at 9:29pm (UTC):
I heard the EXCITEMENT in your voice when you were talking about eating pie. Do you prefer your pie with hair or bald?

Comment posted by SamMANtha Martis, 01/25/2012 at 5:28pm (UTC):
Hell Mr. Scamser, I heard you on your radio show, WHAT WDYKES WANT, yesterday. You said when you carry your purse put your STRAP-ON your shoulder. I carry a purse but U don't need a strap-on. nyah-nYAH!

Comment posted by Your listener, 01/11/2012 at 2:49am (UTC):
I listened to your radio show today Mrs. Scamser and heard the excitement in your voice when you thought you had a caller. The ONLY caller probably hung up when they saw your fat assed hammy kneed monstrous body on cam and realized that you are far from qualified to give weight loss advice you fat fucking pig! Or, they probably called the wrong number

Comment posted by Rosie Essa, 01/10/2012 at 9:20pm (UTC):
Dear Mr. Scamser,
My skin has been really dry for the past few years. Can I win your FREE make-over on your WELW radio show?

Comment posted by MaryPat Martin, Chardon, OH, 01/08/2012 at 4:25am (UTC):
Let me know if you ever want to workout and lose some real weight MANZER

Comment posted by Don Imus, 01/07/2012 at 7:29pm (UTC):
This useless cunt is about as relevant as I am on my radio show.

Comment posted by Millridge Kid, 01/07/2012 at 4:07pm (UTC):
I had Carol Ganser as a DARE officer when I went to Millridge. She had the foulest mouth of any lips I have read. We would watch her speak to adults and she so often used the word cunt, cock, and fuck that we were terribly sick of her. At least we could look away and not "hear" what she was saying. When she walked away the adults would comment about how crude she was. I tried to tell my parents but they wouldn't allow me to write the dirty words. She is a filthy, foul-mouthed piece of garbage! And she was a police officer? Good grief!

Comment posted by BLAINE Manzer, 01/07/2012 at 6:24am (UTC):
Leave my husband Karl alone! Shim is a real go getter. Because of shims work ethics, we pull in a PRETTY PENNY from all of her clients. Don't worry, we donate at least.00003% to Father Manzer and the CATLICK Church.

Comment posted by DuhWayne Ganser, 01/07/2012 at 5:15am (UTC):
This is true:

ADOPTION OF RESOLUTION 28-2006: Council listened to the Reading of Proposed Resolution 28-2006 which description is: “A Resolution of appreciation to CAROL GANSER for her years of dedicated service to the City of Highland Heights, Ohio as a Police Officer for the Highland Heights Police Department.” Mr. Mills moved to adopt; seconded by Mr. Hargate. Ayes all; motion carried.

Mr. Hargate emphasized one point; Carol has worked as the DARE Officer. He knew from personal experience at Millridge that the children really enjoyed her. Mr. Hargate stated he wished to thank her personally for all the things she did. Chief Cook advised Carol Ganser was out of town and unable to attend this evening but her husband Blaine is present. Mr. Mills added that the children at St. Paschal's also loved, respected and looked up to Carol. He hoped they can find someone to continue to build that trust between the youth and the police. Mrs. Murphy added that she too had seen Carol's involvement with the teenagers. She thought Carol had made a difference and stated they all owe her a debt of gratitude.

Comment posted by Carol Scamser, 01/07/2012 at 5:05am (UTC):
Here's another scam for you suckers

Comment posted by Robert Stack-UNSOLVED MYSTERIES, 12/28/2011 at 8:42pm (UTC):
WOW, both Karl Manzer and Dana Lariche are now both financial planners. COINCIDENCE? OR PSYCHIC PHENOMENA?

Comment posted by HH Resident, 12/27/2011 at 1:25am (UTC):
I find it very odd that someone with a badge and gun feels threatened by a vibrator. What a joke and a huge waste of taxpayers, MY money. If this bitch ever pulls me over I dare not reach for a vibrator lest I get shot. Or, should I just hang it out the window and watch her retreat in fear? And what type of woman is afraid of something shaped like a penis? This town is a JOKE!

Comment posted by Dana LaRiche, 12/26/2011 at 6:11pm (UTC):
I have a few things to say about PATROLMAN Joseph: 1. Mark Joseph is a child molester. No ifs, and's, or buts (no pun intended). 2. Mark Joseph has molested his children's friends, and his own children. His favorite thing is to perform fellatio on young boys. He uses alcohol and a hot tub massage to ply them. 3. Mark Joseph has offered himself to perform fellatio on Highland Heights Patrolmen. At least one has allowed him to do so on midnight shift. 4. Mark Joseph is protected by the Highland Heights police department

Comment posted by Dana LaRiche, 12/25/2011 at 2:01am (UTC):
No need to be afraid of me MANZER. When I said I wanted to have a sword fight with you I didn't mean with a real sword

Comment posted by The Doctors, 12/14/2011 at 3:41am (UTC):
Hey Manzer why don't you come on our show? We can take those hammy knees and use them to construct breasts for your male-to-female transition. And when we turn your thingie inside out you're going to have one deep vagina!

Comment posted by Baltimore Mounted Police, 12/09/2011 at 2:36am (UTC):
Hey Manzer why don't you stop on by......we have a couple of "openings" we're sure will be interested in

Comment posted by StupidKunt, 11/26/2011 at 3:00am (UTC):
Carol is very knowledgeable and has a great understanding of vaginas, especially regarding women. She has helped simplify my vagina by educating me and helping to make it easy for me to understand such a usually complicated issue such as lesbos vagina. Jan H. (AKA Carol Ganser)

Comment posted by StupidKunt, 11/26/2011 at 2:50am (UTC):
I felt compelled to write this letter to let you know how satisfied my cooter is with your financial services; your expertise and guidance. I'm extremely pleased with the rate of return on my investments, the products you have recommended, and the peace of mind this financial security has afforded me.

I am so very grateful, Carol, for the genuine interest and concern you have demonstrated for me and my financial well being. I have also appreciated the manner in which you communicate regularly with me to advise and suggest changes that will maximize my investments.

Thank you, Carol. You truly care about helping people. Your integrity, values and ethical principals are to be commended. I look forward to a long, financially successful scissoring relationship. Eileen K. (AKA Carol Ganser)

Comment posted by StupidKunt, 11/26/2011 at 2:41am (UTC):
If you are looking for a trustworthy, smart, concerned and educated financial consultant, you have'nt found her in Carol Ganser. As a single woman, unwise in the often confusing "financial" arena, I have taken Carol's advice over the last few years, much to my vagina's benefit. Her personal muff touch and "keep in touch" attitude has endeared her to me and has made me feel so much more comfortable in regard to my financial future. I look forward to many more years of personal financial growth and well-being because of Carol's knowledge, understanding, care and hard work. God Bless and thank you, Carol! Cindy T. (AKA Carol Ganser)

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