Highland Heights Ohio Patrolman Mark Joseph News & Screws
  Christmas 2011
And Unto You This Day An Asshole Is Born...
Merry Christmas!

From The Biggest Asshole In Bethlehem

Now wouldn't you like to find me under your tree? Oh my!

What we're having at my rabbit shit infested house for Christmas this year:

The Main Course

* Canned ham from Ken's Auto (including an extra one I guilted from them "for my brother")
* 8 cups of coffee scammed from McDonalds "for the construction workers on Wilson Mills"
* Candy canes taken from the community center Christmas tree
* Cheese and peanut butter crackers lifted from the fire department honor snacks box while they were on an ambulance run
* "Oregano" from the evidence room (ours, not Bratenahl's)

For Dessert

* Pumpkin pie stolen from Denny's, of course, washed down with lots and lots of "fresh squeezed" milk poured into my stash of Front Row coffee mugs

Guests of Honor: Doug Sullivan, John DeMent, Joe Steffen, Timmy Pitts, Richmond Heights (former) Police Chief Collins, Keith Woodie, and Joseph Joseph (my dad)
(Don't worry, my kids will be straight jacketed in the basement)

Bring the kids-special appearance by Waite Hill Officer Matt Mole as Santa Clause!
(Fatherless males 14 and under ONLY).
Our backup santa wil be Bill  Gresham in case Matt can't make bail.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year From The PATROLMAN  Joseph Family

Another year has passed and we wanted to keep you updated on what is happening in our family:

Mark is still a PATROLMAN in the Highland Heights police department, his pathetic career barely hanging by a thread.  It has become known that he fellated an auxiliary police officer in the city park while on duty and his co-workers are more skeeved out than ever.  Yes, he put another mans penis in his mouth, on duty, and worked out a load with his purple mustachioed lips.  His dream of becoming chief has been completely shattered and Mark has resigned himself to remaining a PATROLMAN. He simply doesn't understand that because he has caused problems for so many people over the years with his lies and deceit that he is getting what he deserves.

Emily is still a dispatcher and enjoys her job. 

Peter is still working on his various websites and revealing secrets. Since he outed the suicide attempt by Scott Divoky, it's only fair to tell you that Peter is living up to his name; Peter likes..., how should we put it...., OK, here goes....., Peter likes the cock.  He has broken up with Jesse and is looking for another relationship.  Jesse is a boy.  Peter likes to stand half naked on his apartment balcony in an attempt to attract males, but so far none has lasted for more than a few weeks after they meet his father and get cockblocked by dad.  Peter is keeping himself petite and slender because his father has made him feel that he has no value or worth unless he is a twink.  Peter likes to play in Daddy's uniform.

Photo: Courtesy Bill Gresham and Mark Joseph

Hilary still won't bathe and meanders about town mumbling to herself.  It's not surprising since Mark is such a horrible and inattentive father.  A little love would have gone a long way.  We wish she would do something with her life but he may have damaged her beyond repair.

Damien (also known as Matthew) is still selling his plasma.  He is also earning cash by participating in various mood-control drug studies that attempt to find out why his Ritalin didn't work.  He still enjoys "tagging" things around town with his magic markers.

Nora Nora Nora is regularly lactating and feeding the scores of rabbits running around the house.  The house is still a shithole which is probably why Mark likes it so much.  She is also an internet model and actor at breastfeeding.com.

Well, that's a brief update on what's been going on in our lives this year.  We wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and a prosperous new year.  Actually, we don't because we are just a bunch of angry, jealous white trash fucks.


Comments on this page:
Comment posted by NORA, NORA, NORA, 02/03/2009 at 7:18am (UTC):
Keep pumping boys. These teets gotta be pumped hard.

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